In this episode of UEN Homeroom, Dani and Matt are in the studio with Utah's First Lady, Abby Cox and Deputy Director of First Lady Initiatives, Sarah Allred. Join us in a conversation about the First Lady's “Show Up” initiatives and how they’re helping build stronger communities that empower our educators and students throughout the state. Then, they share small everyday steps you can take to “Show Up” for your local teachers and their work.
In this episode of UEN Homeroom, Dani and Matt are in the studio with Utah's First Lady, Abby Cox and Deputy Director of First Lady Initiatives, Sarah Allred. Join us in a conversation about the First Lady's “Show Up” initiatives and how they’re helping build stronger communities that empower our educators and students throughout the state. Then, they share small everyday steps you can take to “Show Up” for your local teachers and their work.
Learn more about the First Lady's "Show Up" Initiatives here: https://www.showuputah.org/
You can find UEN on Instagram @UtahEducationNetwork and Twitter @uennews.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, Matt.
Hey, Dani.
How's it going?
It's good.
It is the month of gratefulness. What are you grateful for?
A lot of things. I'm grateful for the ability to cook, which is helpful around Thanksgiving.
It's very helpful to have a teammate who's great at cooking as well.
It's true. I'm grateful for my dogs.
Oh, yes.
And you know what I'm really grateful for?
What?
Teachers.
Gosh, teachers are the best. And we are grateful to have a first lady who has turned all of her initiatives to helping in the education sphere.
It's true. We're lucky today to have first lady of Utah Abby Cox as well as Sarah Allred, her Deputy Director of First Lady Initiatives, to talk to us a little bit about their program, Show Up for Teachers, that helps to support and show gratitude for Utah educators.
Excellent. And you know what, listeners? We're all so grateful for you. So let's listen in on this interview.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi, teachers. Join UEN for spring classes. Registration opens on December 1.
We have a variety of classes that we think you'll really enjoy, from digital citizenship, to Google, to Adobe, to Utah's online library. You name it, we probably have of course you're going to want to take.
We got free professional development for all teachers in the state of Utah. Join us at--
--uen.org. And then you're going to want to click on the Professional Development tab.
We'll see you then.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
We are now joined with First Lady Abby Cox and her Deputy Director of First Lady Initiatives Sarah Allred. Welcome. Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for having us.
Excited to be here.
So for those of our listeners who didn't hear the first interview, can you tell us a little bit about your background in education and why it's such a central discussion for your work as first lady of Utah?
Yeah, my background is in special education, actually. I did a degree in special education with a dual emphasis in early childhood and severe from Utah State University. Go Aggies. And yeah, so that's definitely-- and that love and that passion came because I knew people and I grew up with some very dear friends that happened to have Down syndrome. And they became just a pivotal-- pivotal people in my life and taught me so much.
So when I went to school, I really focused on-- I knew I wanted to be an educator. My mom was an educator. My grandma was an educator. It was in my blood. And I just felt like that was the area I wanted to go into. But special education just is-- it's special. It's so joyful.
Anybody that's a special education teacher, you just realize it changes you, and you become-- well, any teacher. But really, our kids of determination, which I learned-- that's a phrase I learned in the United Arab Emirates, talking to their special education or their special Olympians. But our people of determination have so much to teach us. And it's been amazing. So that's my background is just knew I wanted to do something in education when I became the first lady, and that's what we've been doing.
So I actually do not have an education background, per se, more than just five kids in the public school system. And I was a stay-at-home mom for 15 years and spent a lot of time in the classroom. So I come at it from that perspective. But I was a campaign staffer. And I think in that way, I was able to have access to the community and their love of teachers. And so that's the angle I come from is just an appreciation of teachers.
It's a good angle to come from, for sure. So this last summer and over the last year, you've both been working on this amazing initiative called Show Up for Utah, Show Up for Teachers. It's multidisciplinary. It's just incredible. And we're excited to talk about it a lot today. Could you tell us a little bit about the program and how it's designed to help Utah educators and other groups that are connected to education as well?
Yeah. I'll just start by-- and then I'll swing it over to Sarah because she really was the CEO of this conference and put in just phenomenal work to make this happen. And so really, the idea was we originally were talking. We knew we wanted to do something in education. Again, this is where my passion is. This is where my background is. This is what I know. And so I knew when I became first lady, and you have to figure out what you want to do, that was where my head went first and foremost, was to education.
So we started having discussions with educators about what they need. Originally, our thought was, hey, if we could really start to help teachers get the curriculum in their hands around emotional intelligence skills, these are the skills, these durable skills, these are the things that our business leaders are saying we have to have in employees. And those are things that maybe are becoming a little more difficult to obtain because we have kids on social media. We have kids on phones. We have a lot of technology, which can be really good in the classroom.
But at the same time, are we learning those skills of connecting with one another? Are we learning the skills of being able to problem solve, being able to work in a diverse group, being able to regulate our own emotions, those kinds of things that you have to have to be successful as a human.
And so we were really trying to think about how we get the curriculum that makes these skills possible. And as we talked to educators, over and over and over again, the message was, we need these skills. We need the ability to have this in our own lives so that we're better educators.
And so that really made us take a step back and think about our mission here was Show Up for Teachers. And it really did pivot. And the idea came about that we do a conference really centered around educators, their mental health, their ability to gain these skills and provide the resources. And so it really did just come from talking to educators about what they needed. I know that's novel.
But we love our educators and feel a part of that community. And so that's where we went. And so Sarah really took the lead on this conference and crafted a conference that just became something that we're really proud of.
Yeah. So we distilled it down. We had a three-fold mission after talking to teachers, just so many conversations, and seeing what was happening in the broader community. And so, of course, the first thing was to make sure teachers had those strategies and those skills to take care of themselves, to make sure that they could manage stress appropriately, that they could have mindfulness, all of those mental health skills that everyone needs, and educators especially.
The second thing we did was we really wanted them to feel appreciated. And that was in response to some things that are happening I think in our broader community, around the nation about educators. And there's just a feel of distrust. And we wanted to make sure that educators felt completely appreciated by the community.
And to do that, it was important to us to bring in a lot of community partners. Just the same way at any professional conference you have sponsors from all over the community, we wanted teachers there. And they're not sponsoring the conference, per se. But they are showing appreciation to teachers. So as we created the conference, that was the threefold mission-- community support, feeling appreciated, and then, of course, the core was really getting those strategies and skills.
And, well, I would just add too that another real focus of the conference was to send a message to educators. Sarah talked a little bit about this, how maybe in the pandemic, in the heart of it, teachers were being called heroes. And somehow, in our political craziness, a year later, they were being villainized. And they were all just sitting back, thinking, what just happened? We're doing the same things. We're working equally hard, if not harder, probably much harder, to try to do these hybrid things that were going on post pandemic, post heat of the pandemic. I don't think we can say post pandemic ever anymore.
But I think that was a big part of the mission is to really send a strong message, not just from us, not from our office, but from the entire state, from the legislature because there are a lot of bills that were counter to appreciating teachers, I would say, that were introduced-- not necessarily passed-- in the legislature. But teachers were feeling very beaten down.
And we wanted to say, there's this large majority of the state, especially parents, that appreciate what their teachers are doing, that want their teachers to stay, that are hearing messages that are really loud and negative. And we wanted to send a really louder message that says, no, most of us do not feel that way. And we really do love you and appreciate you.
I was just going to say, I really appreciate all of that, but particularly-- I'm not going to speak for you, Dani, but we're about the same age. And I'm not going to say how old we are because, you know.
Younger than me.
But I'm a millennial. And I don't remember being taught in school, when I was a student, the skills that were being discussed by and large at Show Up for Teachers. And so the skill gap that you're talking about there that's been identified is only one, maybe one and a half generations back. And so you're having teachers come into the field that don't have a large skill set and coping mechanisms and stress relief and discussions about being able to work with their emotions appropriately with students, because that wasn't something that was part of our core curriculum when we were students.
And so I think that's such a valuable piece of this overall process because it helps to both professionalize the teachers further, which is always a valuable thing, but then also it helps them to have those skills inside and outside of the classroom to better their lives.
Absolutely. And I second everything that Matt said. He can speak for me in that respect.
But also, I think it's just so important that there is a voice saying that not all of us feel that way, because it's easy when something gets amplified on social media or on the internet. And you see it. You see it more than one time. And you think just everyone is against you. And that's really, really hard to feel that way when you're, like you mentioned, working so hard to catch up from the learning loss of the pandemic.
So a few of our team members were actually able to go to the Show Up conference. Matt and Kayla were able to come and enjoy. But our whole team was impressed with the overall project. And a few things really stood out to us.
So, Sarah, you mentioned the community members and the organizations you wanted to have a part. But why was it important for you to have so many community members and nonprofits at the conference?
I think for us, so part of it was that professional feel. You want to go see the people that are supporting you, or even the products out there and the programs out there that are available to you. But the funnest part for us was going to potential sponsors or community members and just saying, hey, we're doing this conference to show appreciation for teachers, and watching their response, like, oh my gosh, yes. I have kids in school. I love their teachers. Or I had this one teacher that changed my life.
One part of the conference we had, it was called the marketplace. And it was where companies just donated products as gifts. And as we reached out to them, we had multiple business owners in tears, talking about the teachers that had affected them or teachers that affected their children.
And I think in many ways, community members don't know how to show that support besides going into a school. And not everyone is in a position to do that. But so for these companies, they were excited to share a product and a gift with a teacher.
There's one company up in Park City, the Sock Shop up there. And they came down that morning with 200 pairs of socks. And they're like, we just want to give to these teachers. And we were going to give 50, but we decided to give 200.
And it was just a small thing, but I think it really goes to show that there is that majority out there that really does appreciate teachers. And they're just not quite sure how to show that. And it was really fun to be able to provide that vehicle and that way for them to show it.
And I hope teachers felt that because it was not people trying to get something out of it. So many of these people that showed-- the business members that showed up, they didn't get anything. In a normal conference, it's a give and take. And they really were there just to give.
And I think one of the fun things we were able to do is we had a little sticker for any of the sponsors or vendors that were there that just said, here's a teacher that changed my life. And they wrote down the teacher that changed them. So they all took a moment at the beginning of the day before they started the conference to really think about that one teacher that changed their life. And I think we all have that teacher in our lives. And it's just a matter of reminding people that they do appreciate teachers.
Yeah. And I would also say that our message, when we were talking to businesses, was that if you're not taking care of your teachers, you're not going to have a workforce in the future. And so it just is incumbent upon them. And we just needed to push home that message because in an economy that we're in right now, teachers can go do literally anything else. And when you have people that can make more money at In-N-Out than being support staff, that's a problem.
And so what we're saying, we're going to push on all fronts for education. And we're going to be advocates for educators-- increase pay, increase support, all that stuff. We're going to keep pounding that message to anybody who will listen.
But our specific message to these businesses and the business community that we were trying to get to support the conference was that really, it's in your best interest to make sure that these teachers have what they need to stay in their jobs. And I think it was a powerful message because we really got the support for the conference that we were looking for.
We invited-- we called them educator advocates-- about 200 community leaders, business leaders, policymakers. And we invited them to come to the conference. And we sat down with them and said, this is how you can help. Go into their classroom. Give money to a specific teacher or a specific school. Give your employees time off to go volunteer in the classroom. Here are some really concrete strategies that are going to help you as a business leader, policy maker, community leader to support those teachers.
And all of those strategies, we met with educators in the community and said, OK, if we have these people in the room, what do we tell them? What are the things that you need and that will be productive for you as a teacher? Let us share that message with these leaders, these educator advocates.
And that, I think, was a really great portion of the conference and kind of hidden away. I don't think the participants necessarily knew they were there. But we wanted to make sure that those key players in the community saw what was happening, saw the need, and had really concrete strategies as they left the conference.
That's wonderful. And I love this multi-prong approach here. It's not just, as you said, funding for teachers, to pay them more. But it's also better support staff. It's helping develop strategies as well for coping with the stresses of the job because as most of us at this table know, this-- and know from personal experience, I should say, but know generally-- teaching's a stressful job.
So it was a large thread of the conference of being kind to yourself, was just all over the place. And that was a big part of the keynotes that you brought in and a lot of the sessions that I attended. How can self-efficacy and kindness play a role in how educators work in schools?
Well, I think what we do as teachers, what we do as educators, is model the behavior that we want to see in our students. And so I think most of us would say, we want our students to be kind to each other. We want them to have pride in their work. We want them to feel good about their progress and their successes.
And I don't think that we as educators think about that for ourselves as much as we should. And I've had this conversation with a few of my kids and just literally, the other day with my daughter, who's almost 16, and I said, you need to be-- there's so much pressure to do and to be and to perform. And kids feel a lot of pressure. Educators feel a lot of pressure.
And I said to her, I said, you have to remember how far you've come and celebrate those victories. And celebrate your successes. And when you achieve something, be proud of yourself.
And that's that kindness. I think that's how we feel about our students. And that's how we want our students to feel about themselves.
But that means we have to feel that about ourselves. We have to say-- we have to step back as educators and say, you know what? This kid learned this because I helped him. This kid got this concept because I spent the time to really think about a new way to teach him. Whatever that looks like, we have to-- this is just a human thing. This is a mental health thing. This is for all of us. We have to celebrate those victories.
And that doesn't mean that we don't keep working really hard through the really tough moments of teaching. But it means we as humans want that for our students. We want that as educators for our students.
But we've got to model that ourselves. We've got to show kids, I did this. I tell my kids-- I ran a marathon once, just once. But it was one of my great achievements.
And I said to them, I worked really hard to prepare for this. And I worked really hard during the race. And after I was done, I was so proud of myself that I did it. I achieved this.
So I try to tell my kids, you have to have that as well. You have to be able to recognize your own achievements and be proud of that. I think that's what we mean by being kind to yourself. And we need that. We have to have that reminder for ourselves as educators.
I absolutely love that. I just wanted to add because it's so important that we as human beings, not just teachers, but human beings, set goals for ourselves. And we fulfill those goals. And we feel fulfilled by those goals.
And so I love what you said about working with a student, working in a classroom because sometimes with a single student, just getting them to write a sentence is a powerful victory. But it doesn't look like it in light of state core testing, and the list could go on and on. But you know, as that teacher, that that made a big difference. And so I love that you're tapping into that and exploring that because it's those tiny victories that keep us going day to day.
Right. And there's just power that comes from celebrating those successes, large and small. One of the breakout sessions we had that people really liked was taught by a teacher. And it was just, sign up, and we're just going to talk about our successes.
So you just get 30 teachers in a room, saying, this is what I did this year. This is what I succeeded. And there's power from saying it out loud yourself and from hearing what other people have done. And I think that's-- the motivation and the direction you get from that I think is really more powerful than it looks on paper.
Absolutely. And I just really appreciate that the celebrating successes comes along with we keep doing the hard work. Things are still going to happen. It's not toxic positivity. But you still need to celebrate where things are going well.
So something that educators were surprised about at the conference was how pampered they all were. I think they felt like they worked for a tech company for a day. So how does Show Up propose to educators that pampering can be an everyday practice? And what can some building leaders maybe do to help their teachers feel a little bit more pampered every day?
That's a great question. And really, that was our intent. I've experienced with my husband some great conferences when he worked for an internet company. And people like that just take it for granted.
But as an educator, you don't feel like that. And what we've seen is this-- the low morale of our educators this last year was really I think due to a lot of these pressures. And I can't tell-- yes, pay is always at the top of the priority list.
But one of the biggest, if not bigger than that, is this appreciation, is feeling appreciated. And when you get treated more like the babysitter down the street than the professional that you are, that's a problem. People are not going to stay in a job that they do not feel appreciated, let alone not paid well.
So when you have that combination, and we know how powerful a teacher is in a child's life, we have to combine that and say, OK, we've got to do more. And so this was, again, that message to businesses to say, we need your help to craft this in a way that people do feel appreciated, loved.
And we don't take the time, especially as educators, to do things for ourselves. We're always, if you're given money, you're always putting it into your classroom. And so there was some specific things that were like, these cannot go to your students. This has to go to you. And we have to be very specific about that because our teachers are so selfless.
And so that was a big push is really just, how do we make these teachers feel-- they got some massages. They got nails done. There was a band there, that we could just party and have fun. And that was part of it. And that was the-- I don't want to say fluffy part, but it's still important. But it was the part that I think made people feel appreciated the most. But also knowing that our mission was to have really great content, so we needed both. It couldn't just be all fluff. And it couldn't just be all content. It had to have-- we felt like it had to have a combination of both to be as effective as it was.
Well, and I think it's that balance that if we can, I mean ideally, we have that every day, the good content, the good things we're doing, and a little bit of fluff to make it feel good. And sometimes it's getting your nails done. Sometimes it's just writing with a nice pen that you like.
I think we can find those little things every day. And sometimes it's just realizing that they're there. And pampering is not always a bubble bath because I don't know who has time for that. But I think if we find those small ways to be pampered, and it might just be a good conversation with someone.
And I do think that the culture in a school is sometimes largely dependent on who is leading that school and leading that building. And finding little ways to let teachers connect and have relationships, sometimes that's the best pampering you can get, is to connect with people.
And I will say, back on that point, thank you, Sarah. That's a great point about who sets the culture in a school. We all know that largely comes from the top.
What we tried to do and maybe weren't as successful in this conference, but we're going to continue to work on this idea of coming to this conference in a team, where you have-- making sure that the administration-- we need to get as many teachers there, but we need principals and vice principals and people that are really setting that culture to buy into this idea that when you're taking care of your educators, when you're setting that inclusive and celebratory of successes culture, then that's where it comes from. It comes from the top. And unless you have administrators that buy into that idea of creating that culture, it's really hard for individual teachers to do that.
And so we have some more things in the works as far as getting our administrators. We're looking at having maybe a virtual conference just specifically for administrators, helping them to identify ways to create that kind of a culture.
Going back a little bit, shout out to the Utah Teacher Fellows.
Yes.
Yes.
I know they did a lot of stuff at your conference. And I think you referenced one of my favorite Fellows, I guess, Scott Judy. He did a session about-- it was a dance party. And teachers were doing all this let's share and be happy, those sorts of things. That's basically reflective practice. Let's sit. And let's talk. Let's be joyful about what's going on. So what part does reflective practice play in the overall process of this conference, and how does it help teachers to be better educators and support students?
As far as teachers themselves doing that?
Yeah.
I think a lot of the best self-care practices are realizing what you're already doing. And I think that recognizing your successes, what you're doing well, that, if you can really hone in on that, you're going to be healthy mentally. And so the more we can help teachers recognize and see what they're doing, I mean, that's not even adding anything to their plate. It's things they're already doing. But it will just bolster their mental health.
Yeah. I think, again, back to that, we don't want it to-- we're not sugarcoating education. We're not sugarcoating the really difficult parts of being an educator. But what we do want to do is have people reflect back on why they got into education in the first place. I mean, there are some-- most of us, I would say-- I don't know a single teacher that got into education because they thought they were going to make a lot of money and be famous or whatever it is that people get into other things for. I don't know.
But we have to remember that as educators because sometimes when we get in the trenches, we forget, why am I even doing this? And then when you have that success, you're like, this is why I'm doing this. Is why I continue to do this.
We were just in a school and celebrating the fact that they became-- Westlake High School became one of our Unified Champion banner school, which is that they've done all these things around Unified Sports with the Special Olympics to be able to have that classification. And it really is-- they have the Unified Sports. But they also have just really incredible peer tutoring programs, mentoring programs, leadership programs around inclusion.
And I would say every time I experience moments like that, I remember why I became a special educator. I remember the joyful nature of this profession. And so I think we should all remember that.
And this is part of the conference is we want you to remember why you did this in the first place. It wasn't to be crazy successful financially, or it wasn't to be whatever. But it was because I truly want to help people. I truly want to make sure that the next generation has a full, successful life for themselves. And me being a part of that is huge. And I think as educators, we have to always continue to go back to that in order to keep ourselves going.
Oh, absolutely. It's really easy to get lost in the standards and objectives and all of these other things that I feel like I'm being asked to do. And I don't have time. And I'm not being successful at it. We have to go back to. But am I helping my students to be good people? Are we creating that classroom community, where we are all enjoying each other, and we're working together and moving forward?
I think this is a good time for our student question.
Hi, I'm Chris Hansen from Jordan High School. How can I help support mental health practices in my school?
That's such a great question. First of all, I will put a plug in again for Unified Sports. One of the best things that you can do is really promote inclusion, that's-- and service. And those go hand in hand.
But what we know from the research is that the chemistry of our brains changes when we're serving and when we're connecting with people. And so I would say in order for you to change the environment of your school, get involved in Unified Sports if you have it. If you don't, reach out because we will help you get it into your school.
But also look for opportunities to serve through our Show Up initiative this month-- well, last month. But going forward, you can always still continue to do this. But we put out a call to our sports teams and our high schools to say, do a service project, and then tag us because we're partnering with the Utah Jazz to give away tickets and swag, and just really trying to get students thinking about ways to serve because we know how much that affects our mental health.
And what we've seen in schools that are participating in Unified Sports, we are seeing a complete change in the culture of that school. It has become a fully inclusive environment. And it's helping all students and lifting all students. And it's helping with that mental health piece for sure.
And I would say is that as a student, you have more power than you think, just in how you behave and the things you support in a positive way. So when your teachers are trying to do the mental health practices, just do it. I know that in our middle school, they do some mindfulness activities. And talking to my own kids in the classes where there are students that support it, it's incredibly effective for those students. And it just takes one or two that are not as excited about it that can really bring down the whole class. So I guess that's just to say, students have a lot of power. And they may not realize that.
Absolutely. We mentioned earlier, we talked a little bit about the pandemic ongoing, and how, for a while, teachers were heroes. And then we talked about how there's been some issues with that over the last year. But one of the things that a lot of teachers point to were some difficulties during that time was technology.
We had some great advances for things like Calm and digital wellness apps. But a lot of times, technology causes stress and excessive cognitive loads for students-- or for students and for teachers. What are some ways that students and teachers can navigate digital wellness in schools?
It's a great question. And I don't know if I'm qualified to answer that. But we are, again, seeing a lot of research around the social media and screen time with kids. We know that the more hours they spend on it, it exponentially decreases their mental wellness.
So we are seeing a huge spike in self harm after the advent of social media on iPhones. And now that we see those in, when kids started having them, you can just see the data. It's really clear.
So I know that we're using technology in school. And that's a good thing. I think we as a society have to start to really rethink how we use social media, and as parents and teachers, being advocates for non-social media time.
And so I know that's different. There's technology that we work with in the classrooms that help facilitate the learning, and I think that's OK.
I think what we're seeing is this social media time is really-- it's too much. And kids-- and adults. We say kids. But I'm telling you that also the research shows that kids are competing for the attention of their parents.
And one statistic that will really blow your mind, and hopefully we can start to rally around it. I don't like fear-based things. But for me, this is one that I've really been thinking a lot about.
President Randall here at the University of Utah told me about some research that shows that incoming freshmen at college-- so 18-, 19-year-olds-- have had 15,000 fewer social interactions than, say, I did. So that equates to about three years.
So think about the social maturity of an 18-year-old is really like 15. So we're expecting kids to have the social maturity to go to school, take care of yourself, feed yourself, house yourself, all the things that we do when we leave the home and go to college or go into the workforce or whatever.
This to me seems one of those moments in time where we have to step back. Think about the seat belt laws, the smoking laws. There were some things that we-- this is something that is staring us in the face. And I think we have to really rethink how we are hurting our children and the neurochemistry of what's going on in our brains. And as adults, we're a big part of the problem.
So I think, yes, technology in the classrooms, using it in the best place possible. But outside of that, how can we start to really think about removing social media and holding social media companies accountable for the detrimental things that we're seeing with our students? And can we as parents be more aware of these things so that we can start to be a part of the solution as well?
I really like what you were saying, that it-- and it's not just students that it's harming. It's adults as well. And if we can't take into account how it's affecting our lives, what does that say about us?
We expect 13-year-olds when they're legally allowed to get on social media just to be great digital citizens and do all the good things. But who are they learning from? Yikes.
We all have our own interesting relationship with social media, whether we're using it to doom scroll or political news or compare ourselves to the other moms out there or whatever it is. But I just love that it's not just kids are the ones that are doing it wrong.
They're actually a little bit better. Honestly, I think they're starting to figure it out. We just had three students on my podcast, on First Lady & Friends. And they were from Mountain Crest High School. They were phenomenal. Of the three, one doesn't even have a phone. She's a senior. Didn't even have a phone, which, I was like, you are a unicorn in my midst.
But how does your mom know where you are?
She's like, we plan ahead. I'm like, oh, yeah. That's what I did.
Oh my gosh. But there's not a payphone if someone doesn't show up when you get there.
She's like, her friends--
People around me--
--have phones, whatever. Anyway, and then another one didn't have social media. Had a phone, but no social media. My sons did. My sons that are older did because I didn't know as much about social media. We didn't have the research around what's happening. It was very new for my older kids.
And my daughter, who's almost 16, I have not let her have social media because-- and she's so mad at me. The boys got it. But I said, look, when we know better, we do better. And if I know this is hurting young girls, then I promise I'm not going to put something in your hands that I know is going to hurt you. So I think we have to be cognizant, like you said, of our own usage and our own example that we're setting.
One of my favorite tweets of all time is somebody said a while ago that cable news is doing to our parents and grandparents what they said social media would do to us and video games would do to us. And so that's what we're seeing, is this idea that we're seeing adults modeling really terrible behavior online. And that's my concern. I see some really terrible words being said to each other. And our kids are seeing this. And it really, really concerns me.
I don't think we should feel contempt for each other. And we certainly don't want to teach our kids to have contempt for one another, regardless of if we disagree with somebody politically or otherwise. We have to start to understand our own behavior and what it's doing to our kids.
Well, I love that you brought up at the beginning of this too about the research that's showing the gap of three years, essentially three years without social interactions. I've been reading a great book called Our Kids. It's a study about the change in the parenting landscape and how this affects education over the last 50 years.
And one of the biggest indicators of change and detriment to a child is the lack of interactions with a parent, ages 1 to 10. And so it's just fascinating to me that social media is doing that same kind of damage. And we're going to have that compounded effect of a lack of social interactions, which creates larger, deeper problems in the neural makeup of a person. And so it's fascinating, but also absolutely terrifying.
Right. But I think when you talk to kids, that that's where I feel a lot of hope. I think, when I talk to high school students, middle school students, even elementary school students, they are getting this better than we are. And so I do feel a lot of hope. And it is really incumbent upon us as the adults in the room to try to make changes ourselves and be that model for our kids.
Well, and I think it's very easy, with all this research coming out and just, we all see it, to be so scared and to have fear on what's happening. But I feel like there's this groundswell coming out of people that are opposing these negative responses to technology or negative uses.
And I think I'm equal parts excited to see what happens because I think once we realize what the problem is, then we just get to take the best parts of technology. And if we can just take the best parts, the parts that facilitate connection, and use it as a tool, then we're so far ahead. And so I think right now, I feel equal parts scared and equal parts excited to see what happens in the future.
Well, and I think, I mean, social media really came out when I was in college. So there was no learning about it in K-12. We didn't know. And it was marketed as a way to connect, socialize, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it's taken a turn. And so yeah, I like that you're saying maybe there are still good parts. And maybe if we can relearn how to use those good parts--
And also maybe get back to having the discipline to put it down. And one thing that my husband's been working on and really reading a lot of research around is unstructured play. What we're seeing is that we're not-- our kids are not doing enough unstructured play. That's where that brain development comes.
When they are having-- they don't have an adult sitting over them, telling them what to do or having social media or technology in their hands, just outdoor, unstructured play is really powerful. And we need to get back to that as well.
Absolutely there's a great movement on social media because can be used for good. Don't look at me like that, Matt. But it's called 1,000 Hours Outside or something like that. And it's a goal for your family to get 1,000 hours outside every single year.
Well, as we wrap up, what's next for Show Up for Teachers? And how can teachers be involved? But also, what can parents and students do to work with Utah schools in this way?
So I'm excited you asked this question. I'm not sure when this is going to air. But we on November 12 have a virtual symposium for teachers. And we have Kim Strobel is going to be our keynote. She talks about the science of happiness and how we can find that happiness in our lives as they exist now. And we will also have a fantastic panel of policymakers and people teaching and helping educators to know how they can be involved in policy making and in making their voice heard on a state level.
And then we have a date for our next conference. It'll be next July 19. And you can go up to showuputah.org to get more information on both of those.
Make sure to link all of that information in the show notes and tweet it out when we can. But ladies, thank you so much for being here.
Thank you--
Oh, wait. Sorry, do you want say [INAUDIBLE]
No, thank you. No, thank you so much for having us. No, that was exactly-- that was perfect. That's what's up next. And also, if you want to get involved in Unified Sports, reach out to us on our website as well. We would love to have you involved, especially anybody in the St. George area. We're trying to get in there.
Challenge.
Thank you so much for your time today.
Thank you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
This whole interview restored a lot of my faith in humanity. There's so many great concepts that First Lady Abby Cox was talking about, that Sarah was talking about, that wind their way into the Show Up for Utah program that is just going to help so many teachers. I was very sincere when we talked a little bit about our experience being younger and not really being taught how to manage stress and emotions and those sorts of things, and how it really plays a role in our ability as teachers.
I feel like it was-- we definitely came from-- our parents and grandparents were like, dust yourself off and move on. There was not time to process emotions.
Absolutely. Stoicism is and was a real big part of 20th-century America. And I think it's 100% changing. People are much more in touch with what they're feeling, how that affects their work and school life and their social life.
And I think these kind of initiatives, where it teaches not only teachers how to share that and work with students to build those competencies, but also help us to build those competencies for our own adult life and take away the stigma surrounding them as well--
Absolutely.
--is really, really powerful. Well, and I hope that we continue discussing these issues and working with mental health, working with teacher efficacy, teaching students and teaching teachers how to work with these issues and continuing to show gratitude for each other because I think that's something that's severely lacking, not only in society at large, but particularly within our schools.
Absolutely. And I really appreciate our first lady for highlighting these issues and making it her work to help in this area.
Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for joining us this week. Check out the show notes for all the links to Show Up for Utah, Show Up for Teachers. And we'll see you next time.
Bye, everyone.
[MUSIC PLAYING]